absolutwillie

Tag: life truths

  • memo to self: be kind

    be kinder than necessary – everyone you meet is fighting
    some kind of battle.

    live simply,
    love generously,
    care deeply,
    speak kindly…

    and leave the rest to God.

  • still here

    although i am by far not ready to talk about it, i realize that total radio silence from me would be irresponsible.

    thought for the day: Be merciful to those who fail you.

  • find a way

    i am in a very dark and hurting place right now. still, i have to believe that there is a way through it. the following words might serve you as well:

    Most of the time our happiness is reactive behavior. We let things or people be the cause of our happiness. True happiness has no reason. It’s a choice.

    Today, find one reason for joy. And focus on that for the day.

  • repost: from Happy Days: the pursuit of what matters in troubled times

    Happy Ending

    By TODD MAY
    In the spring of 2004 I took a flight from my home near Greenville, S.C., to New York to visit my dying step-grandmother. We had been close, and it would be one of the last times I would get to see her. As the flight was about to land, it abruptly ascended and headed toward the Empire State Building. The passengers on the plane became quiet; the aura of 9/11 was hanging in the air.
    We flew over the Empire State Building (but too close to the antenna for my comfort) and circled back to La Guardia. As it turned out, a small commuter plane had decided to land without taking account of our aircraft, so the pilot had had to make a quick move. But in those moments when it seemed I was aboard another human missile, I revisited my life. I realized, almost to my surprise, that I would not have traded it in for another life. There had been disappointments, to be sure, but my life appeared to me to have been a meaningful one, a life I did not regret. This is not to say that I was not nearly paralyzed with fear. I was. At the same time, strangely, my life appeared to me as worth having lived.

    There are two lessons here. The first, and most obvious one, is that death is terrifying. Here in the United States, we have the technology to defer death, so we often pretend it will never really happen to us. There is always another procedure, always a cure in sight if not in hand. But in our sober moments we recognize that we will indeed die, and that we have precious little control over when it will happen.
    The harm of death goes to the heart of who we are as human beings. We are, in essence, forward-looking creatures. We create our lives prospectively. We build relationships, careers, and projects that are not solely of the moment but that have a future in our vision of them. One of the reasons Eastern philosophies have developed techniques to train us to be in the moment is that that is not our natural state. We are pulled toward the future, and see the meaning of what we do now in its light.
    Death extinguishes that light. And because we know that we will die, and yet we don’t know when, the darkness that is ultimately ahead of each of us is with us at every moment. There is, we might say, a tunnel at the end of this light. And since we are creatures of the future, the darkness of death offends us in our very being. We may come to terms with it when we grow old, but unless our lives have become a burden to us coming to terms is the best we can hope for.
    The second, less obvious lesson of this moment of facing death is that in order for our lives to have a shape, in order that they not become formless, we need to die. This will strike some as counterintuitive, even a little ridiculous. But in order to recognize its truth, we should reflect a bit on what immortality might mean.
    Immortality lasts a long time. It is not for nothing that in his story “The Immortal” Jorge Luis Borges pictures the immortal characters as unconcerned with their lives or their surroundings. Once you’ve followed your passion — playing the saxophone, loving men or women, traveling, writing poetry — for, say, 10,000 years, it will likely begin to lose its grip. There may be more to say or to do than anyone can ever accomplish. But each of us develops particular interests, engages in particular pursuits. When we have been at them long enough, we are likely to find ourselves just filling time. In the case of immortality, an inexhaustible period of time.
    And when there is always time for everything, there is no urgency for anything. It may well be that life is not long enough. But it is equally true that a life without limits would lose the beauty of its moments. It would become boring, but more deeply it would become shapeless. Just one damn thing after another.
    This is the paradox death imposes upon us: it grants us the possibility of a meaningful life even as it takes it away. It gives us the promise of each moment, even as it threatens to steal that moment, or at least reminds us that some time our moments will be gone. It allows each moment to insist upon itself, because there are only a limited number of them. And none of us knows how many.
    I prefer to think that the paradox of death is the source not of despair but instead of the limited hope that is allotted to us as human beings. We cannot live forever, to be sure, but neither would we want to. We ought not to mind the fact that we will die, although we really would rather that it not be today. Probably not tomorrow either. But it is precisely because we cannot control when we will die, and know only that we will, that we can look upon our lives with the seriousness they merit. Death takes away from us no more than it has conferred: lives whose significance lies in the fact they are not always with us.
    Our happiness lies in being able to inhabit that fact.

  • do you follow the postsecret project?

    [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zA54vb-eCY&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&feature=player_embedded&fs=1&w=320&h=265]

  • truth or lies – all stories should be told

    true – if china didn’t force this movie out of Taiwan by increasing the numbers of missiles pointed at us, i would probably have missed it.
    Synopsis:

    THE 10 CONDITIONS OF LOVE is a love story – of a woman, a man, a family, a people and a homeland. It is the story of Rebiya Kadeer, China’s nightmare – the woman it accuses of inciting terrorism.


    It is also the story of the other Tibet, the Muslim Tibet – the country its people call East Turkestan, but which the Chinese call Xinjiang Province – the other stain on China’s moral character.


    It is a big story: a story of the ruthless oppression of 20-million people; of the global politics of energy; of Super Power politicking over the War on Terror; and of the pain of a deeply loving family torn violently apart.


    Exiled in the US, Rebiya Kadeer is fighting for the human rights of her people, the Uyghur (pron. wee-ger), China’s oppressed Muslim minority. But Rebiya Kadeer’s campaign condemns her sons to on-going solitary confinement in a Chinese prison. Having done six years solitary herself, she understands the appalling consequences for them of her actions – but she will not relent.


    Twice nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize, once the richest businessperson in China, Rebiya Kadeer is a remarkable woman who pays daily a terrible price for patriotism.


    And it will never be over.

  • sharing is caring

    The Warrior hears someone say: “I need to understand everything before I can make a decision. I want to have the freedom to change my mind.”

    The Warrior regards these words suspiciously. he too enjoys that freedom, but this does not prevent him from taking on a commitment, even if he does not know quite why he does so.
    A Warrior of the Light makes decisions. His soul is as free as the clouds in the sky, but he is committed to his dream. On his freely chosen path, he often has to get up earlier than he would like, speak to people from whom he learns nothing, make certain sacrifices.
    His friends say: “You’re not free.”
    The Warrior is free. But he knows that an open oven bakes no bread.
    Warrior of the Light, p. 47 – Paulo Coelho

  • spring at the start of fall


    it is september now and back home people are celebrating the return of spring. days are getting longer, nights are getting warmer and all around nature is getting ready to burst with joy. it is a time of renewal, hope and celebration. it is a time to celebrate life – and to fall in love.

    i am lucky. for although i’m oceans away from home – i am with the one i love.
    in Taiwan it is ghost month: a time when the gates of the underworld are believed to open and the dead are allowed to roam the land of the living. spirits without descendants to care for them are prayed to during this time, so that they may also enjoy the warmth of life among the living. those lucky enough to have descendants get to feast on tables laden with food and drink that are offered to them. for others, this is a month of remembering the departed and cherishing those who are still around.

    again, i am lucky. for in remembering my departed friends and family – i am reminded to love fully without restraint. i am reminded that life is unpredictable and short – and that love should be cherished and enjoyed openly and fearlessly.

    fearlessly… that is my achilles’ heel. my terrible burden. for you see – i am still plagued by fear… the fear of my inadequacy.

    this might be a revelation to some, for many believe me to be fearless. in fact, i often make a point of facing my fears head on, to overcome them and to help others do the same. i have often said that this does not make me immune to fear – but that i’m fighting a winning battle. and for the most of it – i am.

    for the most of part.

    tonight, while standing in the rain waiting for the garbage truck, i felt very much like a spirit with no descendants. the switch from the fullness of SA life (with my friends and family) to the total isolation of city life in Taiwan (Peter works – i’m still looking for a job), was suddenly too much for me.

    i’m not going to go into the negative flip-flops my mind was doing – suffice to say i was feeling pretty forlorn…

    then the garbage truck arrived – and a complete stranger huddled me under his umbrella. he walked with me from the garbage truck to the recycling truck and back to our building – even though he only had a small bag to deposit at the first truck. i thanked him profusely as he smiled and disappeared into the crowd.

    the rain eased up and i decided to go for my walk around the museum’s park again. a cool breeze was blowing and i was beginning to feel a lot better. before long, i realized that i was praying as i walked – and for about half in hour i had an intimate discussion with my Lord, who was walking right next to me! i was in Jesus’s company and it felt completely natural, safe and friendly. it was a miracle, just like the stranger with his umbrella. i’ve often felt close to Christ – but tonight was the first time i literally felt him walking right next to me! walking next to me, telling me not to be afraid. telling me that, even though i might not believe it, i truly am a perfect creation and more than adequate for the journey i’m taking. telling me to believe in Love and reminding me that i am never alone.

    none of us are ever alone.

    what started as a dark night of the soul – turned into the promise of a new dawn.
    spring is coming – even here, on the brink of fall.

    wherever you are tonight, and whatever you are going through – may you also experience the promise of a new dawn.
    wether you believe as i do or not – this spring is eternal (and Love believes in you).

    now go hug someone.

  • my reality

    following last night’s post, you may very well ask what my reality looks like.

    despite what it might sound like, i do not live in my own little world – far removed from your own. having renounced the fear-driven version of reality doesn’t exempt me from having to face fear either. on the contrary! in order to renounce fear, i have to face it – and face it every day until i conquer it. but conquer it, i will :0)
    i can describe my whole reality in one point – but will try to clarify and elaborate through extrapolation. here goes:
    1) Love really is the answer.
    2) being true to yourself doesn’t cost anything of true value
    3) Truth does not exclude truth
    4) work does not feel like work when it is your calling
    5) do what brings you joy, enjoy what you do
    6) find a common ground
    7) look for the good in everything and everyone
    8) respect and reward your body – don’t try to reconfigure or hide it’s personality
    9) accept that you are already beautiful… you’ve always been beautiful
    10) smile when you feel like it, cry when you feel like it – you get the picture
    11) engage with those around you
    12) sleep 6 to 8 hours at night and nap at noon
    13) be courteous, be kind, be gentle
    14) be thankful
    15) patience is not only a virtue – it’s a way of giving yourself time to “get it”
    16) dream
    17) live your dream
    18) live your Truth
    19) have Faith
    20) do it now.

  • the "real life" i renounce – an elaboration

    so I recently renounced the popular concept of “real life”.

    to clarify, i’m talking about the concept of reality enforced by statements like:

    – “that’s a nice dream, but in real life you’ll find there’s no such thing”
    – “wake up and get real”
    – “in the real world” followed by some variation about the inevitability of suffering.
    i’m talking about a place where (as Paulo Coelho so neatly put it) these are considered normal:

    1] Anything that makes us forget our true identity and our dreams and makes us only work to produce and reproduce.

    2] Making rules for a war (the Geneva Convention).

    3] Spending years at university and then not being able to find a job.

    4] Working from nine in the morning to five in the afternoon at something that does not give us the least pleasure, so that we can retire after 30 years.

    5] Retiring only to discover that we have no more energy to enjoy life, and then dying of boredom after a few years.

    6] Using Botox.

    7] Trying to be financially successful instead of seeking happiness.

    8] Ridiculing those who seek happiness instead of money by calling them “people with no ambition”.

    9] Comparing objects like cars, houses and clothes, and defining life according to these comparisons instead of really trying to find out the true reason for being alive.

    10] Not talking to strangers. Saying nasty things about our neighbors.

    11] Thinking that parents are always right.

    12] Getting married, having children and staying together even though the love has gone, claiming that it’s for the sake of the children (who do not seem to be listening to the constant arguments).

    12ª] Criticizing everybody who tries to be different.

    14] Waking up with a hysterical alarm-clock at the bedside.

    15] Believing absolutely everything that is printed.

    16] Wearing a piece of colored cloth wrapped around the neck for no apparent reason and known by the pompous name “necktie”.

    17] Never asking direct questions, even though the other person understands what you want to know.

    18] Keeping a smile on your face when you really want to cry. And feeling sorry for those who show their own feelings.

    19] Thinking that art is worth a fortune, or else that it is worth absolutely nothing.

    20] Always despising what was easily gained, because the “necessary sacrifice” – and therefore also the required qualities – are missing.

    21] Following fashion, even though it all looks ridiculous and uncomfortable.

    22] Being convinced that all the famous people have tons of money saved up.

    23] Investing a lot in exterior beauty and paying little attention to interior beauty.

    24] Using all possible means to show that even though you are a normal person, you are infinitely superior to other human beings.

    25] In any kind of public transport, never looking straight into the eyes of the other passengers, as this may be taken for attempting to seduce them.

    26] When you enter an elevator, looking straight at the door and pretending you are the only person inside, however crowded it may be.

    27] Never laughing out loud in a restaurant, no matter how funny the story is.

    28] In the Northern hemisphere, always wearing the clothes that match the season of the year: short sleeves in springtime (however cold it may be) and a woolen jacket in the fall (no matter how warm it is).

    29] In the Southern hemisphere, decorating the Christmas tree with cotton wool, even though winter has nothing to do with the birth of Christ.

    30] As you grow older, thinking you are the wisest man in the world, even though not always do you have enough life experience to know what is wrong.

    31] Going to a charity event and thinking that in this way you have collaborated enough to put an end to all the social inequalities in the world.

    32] Eating three times a day, even if you’re not hungry.

    33] Believing that the others are always better at everything: they are better-looking, more resourceful, richer and more intelligent. Since it’s very risky to venture beyond your own limits, it’s better to do nothing.

    34] Using the car as a way to feel powerful and in control of the world.

    35] Using foul language in traffic.

    36] Thinking that everything your child does wrong is the fault of the company he or she is keeping.

    37] Marrying the first person who offers you a position in society. Love can wait.

    38] Always saying “I tried”, even though you haven’t tried at all.

    39] Putting off doing the most interesting things in life until you no longer have the strength to do them.

    40] Avoiding depression with massive daily doses of television programs.

    41] Believing that it is possible to be sure of everything you have won.

    42] Thinking that women don’t like football and that men don’t like interior decoration.

    43] Blaming the government for everything bad that happens.

    44] Being convinced that being a good, decent and respectful person means that the others will find you weak, vulnerable and easy to manipulate.

    45] Being convinced that aggressiveness and discourtesy in treating others are signs of a powerful personality

    and this reality, dear reader, is not where i choose to be.
    more to follow…