Category: Migrations

  • What I learned about…

    RAILROAD TRACKS:
    The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used?
    Because that’s the way they built them in England and English expatriates designed the US railroads.
    Why did the English build them like that?
    Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways and that’s the gauge they used. 
    Why did ‘they’ use that gauge then?
    Because the people who built the
    tramways used the same jigs and tools that they had used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
    Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?
    Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels wouldbreak on some of the old, long distance roads in England , because that’s the spacing of the wheel ruts.
    So who built those old rutted roads?
    Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (including England ) for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since.

    And the ruts in the roads?
    Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.

     Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Bureaucracies live forever. 

    The next time you are handed a specification/procedure/process and wonder ‘What horse’s ass came up with this?’, you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman army chariots were made just
    wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses. (Two horses’ butts.)
    Now – the twist to the story:
    A Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad has two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs.
    The SRBs are made by Thiokol at a factory in Utah.
    Engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel.
    The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses’ behinds.
    So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world’s most advanced transportation system, was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse’s ass!
    And you thought being a horse’s ass wasn’t important!
  • So this St. Patrick's Day…

    It is Saturday morning in Saint Joseph, MO, and I’m pondering the virtues of the day. It’s St. Patrick’s Day parade day, by all accounts – but I’m not exactly sure what that means.

    According to Wikipedia, its origin is religious (Catholic, really), so folks are supposed to go to church. It is also a feast to celebrate the end of Lenten restrictions, so folks should eat stuff. It is also a celebration of Irish culture – hence the green, the corned beef, and the cabbage.

    Having had corned beef and cabbage for lunch yesterday – and still experiencing a feint tickle on the tip of my tongue – I think I’ll pass on more of the same, thank you very much.

    From what I can tell, though, it seems today is pretty much going to revolve around coloring sh!t green, and booze.

    *yawn*

    Am I being over analytical? Is it a better idea to go out and give this parade a shot? Or am I just going to be faced with drunks in green?

  • It Isn't Your Town – It's You

    Compliments Worth County Times
    Grant City, Missouri
    If you want to live in the kind of town
    Like the kind of town you like,
    You needn’t slip your clothes in a grip
    And start on a long, long hike.
    You’ll only find what you left behind,
    For there’s nothing that’s really new.
    It’s a knock at yourself when you knock your town.
    It isn’t your town – it’s you!
    Real towns are not made by men afraid
    Lest somebody else gets ahead.
    When everyone works and nobody shirks
    You can raise a town from the dead.
    And if while you make your personal stake
    Your neighbor can make one, too,
    Your town will be what you want to see.
    It isn’t your town – it’s YOU!
  • Brilliantly correct incorrectness

    Image from “Absolutely Pathetic” via Google Image search

    My Mom sent me this funny list of questions and answers:

    ANSWERS OF A BRILLIANT STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0%
    (I would have given him 100%)
    Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
    • his last battle

    Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
    • at the bottom of the page

    Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
    • liquid

    Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
    • marriage

    Q5. What is the main reason for failure?

    • exams

    Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
    • lunch & dinner

    Q7. What looks like half an apple?
    • the other half

    Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
    • it will simply become wet

    Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ??
    • No problem, he sleeps at night.

    Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
    • You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..

    Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?
    • Very large hands

    Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
    • No time at all, the wall is already built.

    Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
    • Concrete floors are very hard to crack.
  • CALL FOR VOLUNTEERS: Special Olympics Missouri Northwest Area

    Hello All,

    We are gearing up for our 2012 District Bowling Competition for Special Olympics Missouri that will be held in St. Joe, MO March 3-4! We will be utilizing Belt Bowl and Southside Family Fun Center for this amazing event! 
    We are still in need of volunteers to ensure that we provide the best bowling competition to our athletes. They deserve the best!  If you are interested in volunteering we could really use your help. We have 1200 SOMO Athletes coming into town to compete. They must win a gold or silver medal in order to advance to the State Tourney in Columbia in May. If you would like to be a part of this special event you can sign up to volunteer at the link below:

    Volunteer Link: here
    Then click on: St. Joseph District Bowling March 3-4

    We hope that you can make it out that weekend. When you visit our volunteer site you can click whichever shifts fit into your time schedule. We would truly appreciate you sending this on to anyone you think might be interested in being a part of this event. Thank you!!!


    Katie Hrenchir | Associate Area Director | Special Olympics Missouri Northwest Area
    520 Francis Street | St. Joseph, MO  64501 | P: 816-233-6232 | F: 816-233-0130
    www.somo.org | hrenchir@somo.org | Be a fan.  Like us on Facebook.


    Take the pledge to stop using the word “retarded” and start treating others with respect.
  • developing websites

    check out the website I’ve been working on:

    www.museumhillneighborhood.com

    Like it, and link to it!

  • Walking with my neighbors

    Living in a historic neighborhood is turning out to be the most fun I’ve had in ages! Joining the Museum Hill Neighborhood Association was just what the doctor ordered.

    Some of the neighbors got together this morning, for a walk around the neighborhood. After yesterday’s delicious decadence at the Gothic House, I definitely needed the exercise! So I got up, dressed up, and stepped up. And boy, am I glad I did!! We walked quite a bit more than I thought we would, but it was so much fun!! I got to meet new neighbors, chat with neighbors I already know, and learn quite a bit in the process.

    Here are some of the pictures I snapped along the way:

  • Chain mail and hoaxes

    I found the following message in my WhatsApp inbox, when I woke up this morning:

    “Whatsapp is shutting down on 28th jan Message from Jim Balsamic (CEO of Whatsapp) we have had an over usage of user names on whatsapp Messenger. We are requesting all users to forward this message to their entire contact list. If you do not forward this message, we will take it as your account is invalid and it will be deleted within the next 48 hours. Please DO NOT ignore this message or whatsapp will no longer recognise your activation. If you wish to re-activate your account after it has been deleted, a charge of 25.00 will be added to your monthly bill. We are also aware of the issue involving the pictures updates not showing. We are working diligently at fixing this problem and it will be up and running as soon as possible. Thank you for your cooperation from the Whatsapp team”

    I thought it sounded fishy, and it wasn’t difficult to look them up and double check. As I had suspected:
    “@WhatsApp: it is just a hoax: http://t.co/Go8KLqDi”

    As is the case with email, our texting applications are targeted by hoaxers and scammers. It can be tough to keep a level head – but it is quite easy to check things out. Use your twitter or google search capabilities, if you are unsure. As unlikely as it is that Bill Gates is tracking the email in your mailbox, or that some Nigerian Bank executive has millions of dollars with your name on it – chances are equally unlikely that your chat-app usage is being monitored by the Giant Spaghetti Monster in the Sky.

    Remember kids: If it smells fishy, it probably is. (Also consider washing your upper lip…)

  • Last night…

    … it snowed! After driving home (ever so carefully), I tried parking the car in the carriage house. The angles are way too tight, though, and I’m nut sure about the car’s width – so I stopped it in front of the house, as always. But at around 11PM, a city truck came down the street, honking at each intersection. It did this three times. Anticipating a Snow Route-plow (or Armageddon), I moved the car to the side street. Nobody else did anything. I’m such a sucker.

    Anyhoo, come 3AM, Luscious decides to pull a Houdini, and opens the doggie-gate barring my room. I was too cold to shoo her back to their bedroom, but I did manage a peep outside. Nothing. That silly truck driver must’ve been drunk and joyriding.

    This morning, all is covered in a thin layer of snow, and I can see my breath in my study. The wind is seriously affecting my sense of coziness…

    I’m rambling, aren’t I. Bugger.

    Happy Thursday everyone!