absolutwillie

Tag: rants

  • How to derail our dating potential

    Generally people seem to believe that I’m an easygoing, low maintenance and generally nice kind of guy. This makes me happy. While I am all for being an agreeable fellow, there are some things that tweak my tits. In the interest of any potential suitor who cares to read this, the following actions (in no particular order) will get you nowhere fast:

    1. Changing my name. If you don’t like what my folks called me, I won’t like you.
    2. Claiming my pets as your children (step/foster included). If we ain’t married when you do this, we ain’t never gonna be.
    3. Trying to fix me / get me off my meds. I’m bipolar, not broken.
    4. Texting paragraphs in rapid succession, using All Caps for emphasis and/or multiple punctuation marks. I’ll think you need therapy, not attention.
    5. Making light of alcoholism. Bitch no.
    6. Cringing at queer culture, -expression, -humor, -linguistics or -rights related work. If we’re dating, you’re bi/gay/msm. Deal.
    7. Being prejudiced. Full stop.
    8. Believing racism is a ‘white’ thing. That idea is racist – see no.7.
    9. Denying me my own culture and language. Afrikaans is integral to who I am. Classifying Afrikaans speakers as racist makes you prejudiced. See no’s 7&8.
    10. Hating on believers. While it’s your right, and I might have a thing against organized religion, I don’t appreciate the belittling of faith. Mine or anyone else’s.
    Perhaps I’m being a cranky old man. Maybe all lines should be crossed. That’s okay. Do whatever you want out there. I’m just saying that if you want to get with this scatterbrained wreckademic, you need to get with his program.
    #mustlovedogs

  • Let’s revisit that last heading…

    … aaaaand Murphy’s Law strikes again.

    My iMac crashed. Again. After being fixed by an authorized (read: expensive) Apple technician.

    So I took it to the shop. Again. Trying not to screech like a wounded banshee.

    They better not charge me (again).

  • Wicked Wednesday word-wars

    “Familiarity breeds contempt” someone once told me. What transpired this afternoon partly confirmed the validity of that claim. I say only partly because, to a large extent, today’s fall-out wasn’t necessarily founded in familiarity. Probably the larger contributor to this situation was that of growing disappointment and a touch of resentment. Here’s what happened:

    After seven and a half weeks of working together on our practicum, some of our colleagues have grown quite weary of those who had not contributed, engaged or done their part. This manifested in a heated exchange of words on our WhatsApp group, when a meeting to compile our group assignment was convened. Those who had been slinking by in the shadows were represented by statements of impropriety as to the “suddenness” of this arrangement, while the diligent faction responded by pointing out that participation throughout the practicum period would have negated any perceptions of “suddenness” and “unfair treatment”.

    In the end the Slinkers slunk away, and the worker bees did the work.

    Lesson: Work hard with those who work hard, and reap the rewards.

  • Annoyed

    Annoyed annoyed annoyed
    I am viciously annoyed.
    Ticked off, miffed,
    agitated and
    oh
    so very
    vexed!

    Some of you will remember that I had presented a lesson on “Poetry for Enjoyment” when Prof. Beets came to critique me. The lesson served as a bridge between the movie “Dead Poets Society” and the Grade 11 Prepared Reading task, which made up their oral assignment for the term. After the D-day lesson, I presented this lesson to my Mentor’s other Gr.11 class to their surprised delight.It’s a fun lesson, carefully crafted to achieve the “unthinkable” – making poetry so much fun, that you’d want to delve into it at home, in your own time, and love it.Following my two presentations in my Mentor’s classes, she suggested that the other Gr.11 English teachers consider having me present this lesson after they’re classes have watched the movie. A suggestion which seems to’ve been received quite well, judging by the bookings I received. Of course I had to make room for these lessons in my L.O.-schedule, but I figured it was worth it for me, for the learners, and for the love of poetry!

    Today saw me presenting this lesson to 11B, with both their teacher and the Department Head in the classroom. The light wasn’t ideal for the overhead projector, but the lesson went down without a hitch. The learners seemed to love it, and their teacher said how enjoyable he found it. The Department Head, whose classes are up tomorrow and the day after, was however not as enthusiastic about the poem I used at the end of my lesson to drive it all home. She asked that I change it to one of the Gr.12 EFAL poems she had on a DVD.

    This is the poem I have been using all this while as an exercise in performing a reading:[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpwAP36-w7E?si=X8fGGxRjUGePY040]

    I’m sure you can imagine the hilarity (enjoyment) that ensued once learners were given the text to this poem and told they had two minutes to prepare a fun way of reading it, and then reading it in front of the whole class. Right there. (Yes, I’m incorrigible – with purpose.)

    The plaintiff flat-out refused that part of the lesson.
    These are the poems I’ve been asked to substitute it with:

    Guy Butler – A Prayer for All My Countrymen
    Roy Campbell – The Serf
    John Donne – Death Be Not Proud
    Charles Eglington – Cheetah
    John Milton – On His Blindness
    Oswald Mtshali – The birth of Shaka
    William Shakespeare – Sonnet 116
    Karl Shapiro – Auto Wreck
    Stephen Spender – An Elementary School Classroom in a Slum
    W.D. Snodgrass – Mementos, 1

    WTF? Let’s switch out a light-hearted, nonsensical and funny little poem for something more… well, either high-browed convoluted-ness or death and misery. Great.

    Of course these poems are all fantastic works of art – in the same way a Rembrandt is fantastic. They’re also just as much fun…

    I’ll have to make a plan.

  • When frustration strikes

    There is so much we can share with each other – so many ways in which we can enrich each other’s lives – and so much we can learn and discover together.

    But we don’t. 
    Some don’t know how to, and some just won’t.
    Why not?
    I suspect Fear keeps all of us neatly chained inside our boxes. The fear of losing face keeps us from sharing what we don’t know, in order to grow together. The fear of losing control keeps us from allowing freedom of thought, discovery and risking ideas that might change something. The fear of standing out of the crowd keeps us from fulfilling our own potential and reaching greatness.
    This is what frustrated me today.
    I don’t like being chained.
    I can’t stand it when people chain themselves.
    I absolutely abhor those who chain others.
    Am I the only one?

    As teachers, I believe that we should remain open to new ideas, new ways of doing as well as new ways of learning – especially when the learning party is oneself! There is no shame in stating what we don’t know, for this humanizes us and opens us up to learning whilst simultaneously encouraging our learners to do the same. I also believe that we should remember that teaching and learning are both social as well as intensely personal activities. We should work with the masses in showing the way, whilst remembering to allow for individualization. The internal learning process which should actively work towards encouraging personal growth and development of self in each of our learners. In doing this, we should be nurturing a group which recognizes,  encourages and celebrates the powerful beauty of each of its members.

    Break the chains of Fear – and live in the unique light of Potential!

  • Dear God in Heaven…

    … please let me never, ever be expected or requested to organize colleagues or staff ever again. And have mercy on my soul if it turns out that I have to, despite my plea…

    And also thank you Lord, for kids who step forward and make use of the opportunity to work with us one-on-one! My greatest joy comes from helping someone find some sort of solution. Even if that solution is merely a way to remember Figures of Speech.
    I had a learner come to me after dinner tonight and thank me for the additional tutoring (“study skills” evening class) we  had held at one of the residences. One “thank you” out of over a hundred learners – and it was exactly what I needed!
    Teaching: flame on!

  • Roaring misery

    I had to raise my voice at a class today. Roared rather. It was a last resort, and it worked, but I hated doing it. To tell the truth, it upset me enough to spoil lunch. (Nothing ever spoils my meals.)

    The thing is, I take issue with disrespect. And today seemed to’ve been the day for it.
    The Matric class that brought me to roaring-point got me there by blatantly disrespecting one of my colleagues, who was doing her level best to keep their work as fun and light-hearted as possible. No matter how much she asked for their cooperation – or just to keep it down – the kids acted as if she wasn’t even there. Even less so that the other observing student-teacher and I were there as wel.
    So I roared. And it worked.
    But I hated doing it.
    Little did I know that the undercurrent of disrespect had only started manifesting.
    We were asked to invigilate at the Gr. 12’s final exam (paper 3) in Afrikaans after school. All went well, until a member of staff and Gr.12 accomplice decided to throw a bomb-cracker down the corridor where the paper was being written. I happened to be standing in the corridor at the time. The bomb-cracker went off right behind me, and when I looked around I saw the culprits tearing up with laughter. Such blatant disrespect for the other students, the exam and the invigilators (not counting my stinging ears) struck me dumb. And from faculty!?
    Apparently it’s that teacher’s “thing”.
    Everyone looks the other way.
    I can not see myself associated with any school where this sort of thing is accepted.

  • Food poisoning

    Cold sweats and shivers,
    And hot fever switches,
    Cramps knot my tummy
    And aches claim my legs,
    These are a few of my poisoning cues!

    Over the last two days, I’ve come to certain realizations, not the least of which being that:
    Chicken can not be trusted!!

    Other realizations include: the value of two ply TP, cornflower has real power, a glass of water can be be vengeful, and…

    I watch way too many cooking shows!

    Seriously. After last night’s fever-fueled dreams of Andalusian bake-offs, I may have to take a TV sabbatical. Very few things are as disturbing as trying to deconstruct gourmet pastries, while running a cooking gauntlet of consecutive workstations, set up along a rocky outcrop, all the while stopping to do the “inverted fountain” on the toilet. Speaking of which… I gotta run!

    (Send help!)

  • watch it. watch it again.

    and watch it in full screen,
    with the volume way up…
    [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2mf8DtWWd8?fs=1]
    if you’re going to drive – don’t drink. AT ALL.
    and if you see your “tipsy” friend taking his/her keys and heading for the door – take their keys, get them home safely, worry about the vehicle when everyone’s sober. (an acquaintance of mine gave his buddy his bike’s keys back, who proceeded to smash into someone else.)
    THINK
    before you
    DRINK
    before you
    D(R)I(V)E

  • if you get lost between the moon

    … and Starbucks: SSSSHHHHH!!!
    university student who no like study at library
    (acloss a stleet)
    also no like you talking and laughing
    in public
    (of all places)

    i mean, really?!
    no offense,
    but really??

    Posted by ShoZu