Tag: lists

  • Revisited 2: My life in 5 year segments

    In the (not so) grand tradition of my own #5yrs life segments review, the time has come for another consideration of a possible legend/guide to find trends/patterns in my mortal experience. Perhaps the 9th addition to this list might allow for some insight into my journey? Let’s see then shall we?

    Quick recap:

    00-05: carefree childhood

    05-10: awareness of my Other-ness

    10-15: trusting the Closet

    15-20: escaping the Closet

    20-25: student-/full time LGBTI-rights activist

    25-30: print/design entrepreneur

    3035: sober, educator*, consultant, exhibiting photographer, community activist and odd-jobs-guy.

    35-40: sober student of Education: Postgraduate Certificat in Educaation (PGCE 2013) cum laude; B.Ed. Honours in Language Education (2014) cum laude; M.Ed. on Language Didactics and Digital Pedagogies (2017) cum laude. Lecturer in Higher Education.

    40-45**: still sober (by Gracce), Lecturer and Academic Head of an HEI, now pursuing a PhD (2022-2024?)

    To be honest, the journey from 35 to today (the day before my 44th birthday) took a wildly different turn than I expected when I enrolled in the PGCE programme at Stellenbosch University. The initial plan was to get in, get teacher certified, and get out to go back to teaching in Taiwan. I still miss my kids from the kindergarten, and wonder who they’ve grown up to be(come).

    That is not to say that teaching in Higher Ed has not been a wild and wonderful adventure in and of itself! I’ve had the privilege of meeting a wide array of wonderful people, and I’d like to think that I’ve had at least a small impact on their thinking and careers. The hundreds of PGCE students that swept through my lectures, and the smaller groups of incredible game design and developers I was privileged enough to have in my classes have truly left their mark on my soul. I sincerely hope that they have forgiven me for my sins as an academic assessor, and perhaps even think of me gently on the odd occasion.

    Teaching as a profession is not what it should be. There, I’ve said it. While being guilty of aiding and abetting the corporatisation of education in order to earn a living – I’m not a fan. Perhaps braving the waters of academia as a PhD student, then, might be seen as a counter-intuitive and ironic act of surrender to the Overlords. The covert intent, I feebly hope, is however to try and liberate a smidgeon of thought surrounding learning/mediation of learning from the grip of The Formal and show that we have always been doing it ourselves.

    Then again, I might be going soft in the head (as last year’s barrage of MRI scans suggest).

    I don’t really know why I’m blogging again, actually. Most of the people who were on this blog’s journey with me have moved on or died. Cancer took my Mom in 2018, and the world caught fire shortly thereafter when COVID-19 hit. I sound callous, or even cruel when I put it like that… and maybe I am a bit. I do hope that I’m not so far gone that I’ll disconnect from the joy in the world completely. I’m sure it’ll come back.

    Then again, I might be insane.

    *Serious relationship that ended the Christmas eve after I proposed.

    ** Updated on 2024/03/25

  • How to derail our dating potential

    Generally people seem to believe that I’m an easygoing, low maintenance and generally nice kind of guy. This makes me happy. While I am all for being an agreeable fellow, there are some things that tweak my tits. In the interest of any potential suitor who cares to read this, the following actions (in no particular order) will get you nowhere fast:

    1. Changing my name. If you don’t like what my folks called me, I won’t like you.
    2. Claiming my pets as your children (step/foster included). If we ain’t married when you do this, we ain’t never gonna be.
    3. Trying to fix me / get me off my meds. I’m bipolar, not broken.
    4. Texting paragraphs in rapid succession, using All Caps for emphasis and/or multiple punctuation marks. I’ll think you need therapy, not attention.
    5. Making light of alcoholism. Bitch no.
    6. Cringing at queer culture, -expression, -humor, -linguistics or -rights related work. If we’re dating, you’re bi/gay/msm. Deal.
    7. Being prejudiced. Full stop.
    8. Believing racism is a ‘white’ thing. That idea is racist – see no.7.
    9. Denying me my own culture and language. Afrikaans is integral to who I am. Classifying Afrikaans speakers as racist makes you prejudiced. See no’s 7&8.
    10. Hating on believers. While it’s your right, and I might have a thing against organized religion, I don’t appreciate the belittling of faith. Mine or anyone else’s.
    Perhaps I’m being a cranky old man. Maybe all lines should be crossed. That’s okay. Do whatever you want out there. I’m just saying that if you want to get with this scatterbrained wreckademic, you need to get with his program.
    #mustlovedogs

  • Listverse: 10 Things You Didn’t Know You Could Smell

    by J. F. Sargent, January 27, 2013

    If it came to the crunch, and we were faced with losing one of our “five senses,” is there a single person who wouldn’t part with his sense of smell? Sure, it’s nice and all—but it just doesn’t compare to the usefulness of sight, the necessity of feeling, and the awesomeness of sound.
    Or so at least we’ve been told. It turns out that the lamest sense is actually a lot more powerful than you might imagine. There’s an unbelievable array of subtle, subconscious things that we just wouldn’t be able to pick up without a functioning nose.

    10 – You Can Smell How Old Someone Is


    You’re probably familiar with the idea that old people stink. Whether it’s from first-hand experience, or just general pop-culture osmosis, somewhere along the line most of us begin to accept the concept of an “old person smell” as a fact of life. And in a weird way, we’re not wrong.

    In a study which rather sadistically placed pads under people’s armpits and then gave them to others to sniff, scientists found that the sniffers could reliably distinguish the odors of people over seventy-five from the odors of other people.

    Interestingly, the odor isn’t necessarily bad. Scientists believe that the negative stigma around the “old person smell” concept has more to do with a fear of old age than an actual negative response to someone’s body-stink.

     9 – You Can Wake Yourself Up With Smell


    Since it’s the world’s most popular psychoactive drug, it’s fairly safe to assume that most of us enjoy a cup of joe every now and again. But according to one study, you may not actually have to drink it to get the necessary effects.

    By studying the effects of coffee aroma on rats, scientists found that coffee’s smell makes the brain release proteins that will protect nerve cells from stress. Which is exactly what coffee does to you when you drink it.

     8 – You Can Smell Fear

    Though it sounds like a movie tagline, the ability to smell fear is something humans really did develop for defensive purposes. Not only can we learn to identify what fear smells like in other people, but we will naturally become afraid ourselves after smelling it.

    The evolutionary idea behind this ability is that humans, like all social animals, are strongest when acting as a group. If one person is so stunned by panic that he can’t communicate his emotions, the stink of his terror (as well as his body language) will spread fear to the others in his or her group. This keeps everyone’s actions—or at least their emotions—coordinated.

    These days we don’t have so many encounters with predators. But we do have horror movies in theaters, and the principle still works in essentially the same way.
     7 – Women Can Smell When a Man Is Horny


    Men might hope that they’re being subtle in their advances, but scientific studies have revealed that there’s simply no hiding their arousal from a woman. She can smell how turned on a man is—and not just in a subconscious way. In studies, sniffing pads soaked with the sweat of horny men was found to activate parts of a woman’s brain normally associated with perceiving emotions in others.

    But what about men? Do their noses play any role in their eternal efforts to get some? Certainly—but not in the same way. While women have a definite advantage when it comes to perceiving the intentions of their potential sexual partners, men have a slightly different ability:
     6 – Men Can Smell When a Woman Is Ovulating


    While a man’s ability to pick up on a woman’s sexual excitement might be entirely subconscious, his ability to tell when a woman is ready to get pregnant isn’t. In a blind study, scientists discovered that heterosexual men sniffing the T-shirts of various women would consistently label those of ovulating or fertile women as more “pleasant” or “sexy” than the T-shirts of other women who weren’t ready to conceive. Apparently, men can identify this scent up to a week after the clothes were worn.
     5 – You Can Smell a Compatible Sexual Preference


    When you examine the findings from various studies about individuals’ sexual preference towards different body odors, an interesting pattern occurs: sexuality is actually detectable by odor.

    If a straight man is given the T-shirts of a combination of gay and straight men and women, he will consistently find the odor of the straight women more pleasant than the odor of any other group. The same is true for gay men: they will be more attracted to the scent of other gay men, and so on for every other group.

    Though the findings are hardly conclusive, this does provide strong scientific support for the idea that homosexuality is based in neurobiology, rather than being an individual’s choice.
     4 – You Can Smell Which Direction an Odor Is Coming From


    We have the ability of a bloodhound, and we didn’t even know it.

    It turns out that every human is born with the ability of “egocentric localization.” That’s the ability to tell where a smell is coming from without even moving one’s head—in exactly the same way that people can pinpoint the origin of a sound. It’s a skill that all of us possess, but which most of us never bother to hone.
     3 – You Can Smell How to Do Better On a Test


    So far all these nasal tricks have been neat and perhaps unexpected, but not especially useful. So here’s one that’ll actually improve your day: you can use your nose to get better grades.

    You probably know that smells can trigger a flood of old memories—but what you may not know is that without a sense of smell, you may have not been able to recall that memory at all. It turns out that olfactory (smell) perception is far more closely linked to memory than you realize: it stimulates both the ability to recall things and the ability to commit those things to memory. 
    So next time you study while rubbing yourself down with lavender oil, be sure to take some lavender oil to the test. 
     2 – Women Can Smell How Sexy Men Are


    Most of us have heard that facial symmetry is one of the most important factors in a person’s level of attraction. But studies show that symmetry isn’t just something we see—it’s something we also smell.

    In a study that (once again) involved smelling other people’s dirty T-shirts, scientists found that women will rate the smell of symmetrical men as more attractive than that of non-symmetrical men—even when they’ve never smelled, seen, or even met the men in question before.

    Basically, sexy people smell sexy—and so do their clothes.
     1 – You Can Smell How Healthy Your Offspring Will Be


    Humans consistently make their choice of sexual partner based on whether or not the other person’s Major Histocompatibility Complex is different from their own. The Major Histocompatibility Complex, or MHC, are the molecules in the body that fight foreign invaders, like germs and viruses.

    Choosing a mate with a different MHC than your own will improve your offspring’s MHC, meaning that they’ll have a stronger immune system and will be more resistant to disease. Women are most likely to be attracted to men who have a different MHC—and interestingly, it seems that the sense of smell is pretty much the only way to determine the compatibility.

    The best piece of advice for young people looking to find a serious partner? Follow your nose.

    J. F. Sargent is a workshop moderator and frequent contributor at Cracked.com
  • silly list: This is why I'll never be an adult

    I thought I’d share this chart from Hyperbole and a Half as my silly list for the week:

    (click to enlarge)
  • Revisited: My life in 5 year segments

    In March of 2011, I wrote a post on how an old twitter trend (#5yrs) sparked a list. For me, it’s turning into a personal meme – looking at my life in 5 year segments, and seeing what pattern/legend hides in the folds of history.

    Quick recap:

    00-05: carefree childhood

    05-10: awareness of my Other-ness

    10-15: trusting the Closet

    15-20: escaping the Closet

    20-25: student-/full time LGBTI-rights activist

    25-30: print/design entrepreneur

    30-3?: sober, educator and consultant

    Little did I know, at the time, that by the end of that year I’d be living in Missouri (USA)! Or that the reasons for me moving to Missouri turned out to be a load of bull. Cost me mega bucks – but I learned a lot in the process.

    Similarly, I couldn’t have dreamt that 2012 would see me escape from the clutches of evil in the States, and that I’d be back at my Parents’ house, where I did everything I could to earn enough money to pay my new debts, and save up for University again.

    So here’s how the last completed segment looks like:

    30-35: sober, educator, consultant, exhibiting photographer, community activist and odd-jobs-guy. 

    Things are looking up for the next segment though!
              35-??: Student – Postgraduate Certificate in Education (still sober)
    What can we see from this list so far?
    Firstly, that 4 out of the first 5 segments of my life revolved around my sexuality, and fighting for acceptance in main stream society.
    Secondly, that 3 out of my 4 “adult” segments marked the rise and rise of my alcoholism.
    Lastly (for now), that I might very well spend a couple more segments in Education, my dream since the age of 15  
    ;0)
    So what does your life look like in segments of 5 years?

  • 5 Top Tips for Everything

    1. Listen more than you talk.
    2. Keep it simple.
    3. Take pride in what you do.
    4. Have fun, success will follow.
    5. The drawing board is your friend – start again!
  • Talking Foreign: a silly Sunday list

    Today I want to share something of the SMH-variety: things people say that make me Shake My Head. I can’t help but chuckle whenever I witness people throwing themselves at an unfamiliar language, with no clear reason to do so. And nowhere in the world is it so painfully obvious, as right here in our wonderfully multilingual South Africa. The most comical interactions being between parties with a common tongue, choosing to interact in another – usually English.

    I share these gems for your amusement:

    • “How long, round about?”
    • “Now listen nicely…”
    • “This cutlery are so androgynous!”
    • “I can like to wear a jean pant.”
    • “Can I make for you some tea?”
    • “Just feel this sweetness…”
    • “Winter bloom-coal whiff cheese, please.”
    • “I will you navigator.”
    • “I come right, don’t worry.”
    • “Yes no you never know man.”

    Add your favorites in the comments below ;0)

  • My life in 5 year segments

    how a twitter trend (#5yrs) sparked a list:

    what does your life look like, in segments of 5 years?
    well, here’s mine:

        0-5: carefree childhood

      5-10: awareness of my Other-ness

    10-15: trusting the Closet

    15-20: escaping the Closet

    20-25: student-/full time LGBTI-rights activist

    25-30: print/design entrepreneur

    30-3?: sober, educator and consultant

    it’s kind of cool looking at it this way. as well as a little freaky… what’s in the cards for 35-40? and how many segments do I have left?

    35-40
    40-45
    50-55
    55-60
    65-70
    70-75
    75-80: the “segment” when my maternal grandfather passed away
    80-85:
    85-90:
    90-95: the “segment” when my paternal grandfather passed away
    95-100: ??

    have a look, let’s see what your life looks like in segments of 5 years ;0)

  • list: elisabeth kübler-ross' 5 stages of grief

    sometimes it helps to remember that:
    other’s have gone through roughly the same thing as you,
    some have studied the process of “getting over it”, and
    this too shall pass.

    sometimes change can be a very painful experience – especially when prompted by some form of grief or trauma. (and i’m using these words in their broadest sense.) i’ve often found a kind of peace – solace even – in the Kübler-Ross model, as introduced by Elizabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying“. although the model was originally developed for people with terminal illnesses – it manages to translate into everyday life quite well.

    i found myself thinking about this model often over the last week or so. in sharing it with you, i hope that somewhere, someone else might find it a little easier “to deal”.

    keep in mind that the stages are not linear: they don’t necessarily follow a set pattern. some stages might even repeat themselves at random. what is important, is to know that they exist and that we have to go through at least some of them to reach the stage of acceptance.

    1. Denial — “I feel fine.”“This can’t be happening, not to me.”
      Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual.
    2. Anger — “Why me? It’s not fair!”“How can this happen to me?”“Who is to blame?”
      Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy.
    3. Bargaining — “Just let me live to see my children graduate.”“I’ll do anything for a few more years.”“I will give my life savings if…”
      The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay [change]. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle.
    4. Depression — “I’m so sad, why bother with anything?”“I’m going to die . . . What’s the point?”“I miss my loved one, why go on?”
      During the fourth stage, the person begins to understand the certainty of [change]. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the person to disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.
    5. Acceptance — “It’s going to be okay.”“I can’t fight it, I may as well prepare for it.”
      This final stage comes with peace and understanding of the [change] that is approaching. Generally, the person in the fifth stage will want to be left alone.
    i went through quite a few cycles of bargaining and depression this time around – thankfully “anger” only reared it’s menacing head twice. (nobody was physically hurt in either instance.)
    acceptance, for me, was both a process and a choice this time.
    a choice, much like finding joy, that i have to stick to.

    but now, i’m afraid i have to get ready for work.
    hope you are all well!
    may your day be bright, comfy and pleasantly familiar ;0)

  • list: posters i long to own

    our lease will be up come february, which has me daydreaming about finding the perfect space again :0)
    wooden floors…
    high ceilings…
    kitchen with an oven…
    rooftop patio…
    lots and lots of cupboards for Peter’s clothes *lol*

    this lead me to thinking about decoration.
    does wanting these posters make me weird?