Tag: funny

  • Video: Sweet Brown's Greatest Hits

    Almost everybody, everywhere has been throwing the line “ain’t nobody got time for that” around like there’s no tomorrow. Having been oblivious to such phenomenons (I was late with Gangam Style too), I never really got it.

    Until now…

    [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFEoMO0pc7k&fs=1&source=uds&w=320&h=266]

  • silly list: This is why I'll never be an adult

    I thought I’d share this chart from Hyperbole and a Half as my silly list for the week:

    (click to enlarge)
  • Fun music video: Gangnam Style

    I’m pretty sure most of you have heard/seen/otherwize experienced the Gangnam Style phenomenon.
    For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about – welcome to what’s been playing in my head since Friday:

    [youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=videoseries?index=18&list=PL9C8FEF2291D596E9&hl=en_US]

    Dress classy,
    Dance cheesy!

  • What I learned about…

    RAILROAD TRACKS:
    The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used?
    Because that’s the way they built them in England and English expatriates designed the US railroads.
    Why did the English build them like that?
    Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways and that’s the gauge they used. 
    Why did ‘they’ use that gauge then?
    Because the people who built the
    tramways used the same jigs and tools that they had used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
    Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?
    Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels wouldbreak on some of the old, long distance roads in England , because that’s the spacing of the wheel ruts.
    So who built those old rutted roads?
    Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (including England ) for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since.

    And the ruts in the roads?
    Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.

     Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Bureaucracies live forever. 

    The next time you are handed a specification/procedure/process and wonder ‘What horse’s ass came up with this?’, you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman army chariots were made just
    wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses. (Two horses’ butts.)
    Now – the twist to the story:
    A Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad has two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs.
    The SRBs are made by Thiokol at a factory in Utah.
    Engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel.
    The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses’ behinds.
    So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world’s most advanced transportation system, was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse’s ass!
    And you thought being a horse’s ass wasn’t important!
  • Brilliantly correct incorrectness

    Image from “Absolutely Pathetic” via Google Image search

    My Mom sent me this funny list of questions and answers:

    ANSWERS OF A BRILLIANT STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0%
    (I would have given him 100%)
    Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
    • his last battle

    Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
    • at the bottom of the page

    Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
    • liquid

    Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
    • marriage

    Q5. What is the main reason for failure?

    • exams

    Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
    • lunch & dinner

    Q7. What looks like half an apple?
    • the other half

    Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
    • it will simply become wet

    Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ??
    • No problem, he sleeps at night.

    Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
    • You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..

    Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?
    • Very large hands

    Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
    • No time at all, the wall is already built.

    Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
    • Concrete floors are very hard to crack.
  • don't be afraid of the dark

    don’t ask why – just know that i’m having a really bad day – and enjoy this little pick-me-upper Francois sent me.

  • squee: cute overload

    one of my favorite sources of daily smiles: dailysquee.com

    dreaming of kittens - owen
  • if you can't find the book you want…

    you’re probably shopping at the:

    thanks Ma ;0)