Ben, my colleague from Seattle, turned 37 on Sunday – so a bunch of us got together at Coast Café last night for dinner and celebrations. he really is a very cool guy – and i am very thankful for having him around! he’s been a friend to me since my first day here. come to think of it, he’s the closest thing i have to a “best” friend on the island :0)
anyway, dinner was a relaxed affair with the usual sharing of dishes, stories and language tips that make buxiban socializing fun. and then it happened – a very pronounced episode of dysphoric mania reached it’s crescendo.
looking back, i can see that this episode has been building for a few days – but it was only when my Taiwanese colleagues started asking me if i’m alright that i realized what was going on… NOBODY gets THAT excited about a cup of coffee! i’m not sure i spotted all the symptoms that got them worried, but i realized i was:
– laughing randomly at myself
– jumping from one idea to another (not necessarily obviously related)
– giddy with excitement when my first (and only)refill (black coffee, no sugar) finally arrived and
– spouting totally random sentences at equally random intervals.
thankfully i recognized the situation and excused myself. i drove home carefully, as i was beginning to twitch – which can be dangerous on a scooter.
walking into my apartment i could feel the switch in my brain flip. i got in bed just in time to sob into my pillows. major high followed by major low.
symptom checklist:
- period of heightened irritability followed by an excessively good mood;
- pressured speech; rapid talking
- decreased need for sleep and insomnia;
- flight of ideas and the subjective experience that thoughts are racing;
- easily distracted / attention-deficit;
- increase in psychomotor agitation;
- unrestrained buying sprees (Ben got quite a gift bag *lol*);
- feelings of hopelessness (especially with regards to my relationship);
- unprovoked yet overwhelming sense of sadness and
- thoughts of suicide (recognized as symptomatic and treated that way)
bipolar disorder is definitely not for sissies – and rapid cycling turns life into an extreme sport! hopefully the risperdal keeps things under control. there are only three weeks left of this semester – and we’re preparing for oral tests! not exactly the best time to go nuts ;0)