absolutwillie

Month: August 2008

  • Infected Mushroom in South Africa

    http://youtube.com/v/ed18aaOry1A

    it sucks that i missed this!!!

    when are they swinging by Taiwan?
    *sigh*

  • umarme mich

    http://youtube.com/v/V5N4UyW594M

    i’m loving this band more and more!

  • Mr Mister

    The wind blows hard against this mountainside
    Across the sea into my soul
    It reaches into where I cannot hide
    Setting my feet upon the road
    My heart is old it holds my memories
    My baby burns a gemlike flame
    Somewhere between the soul and soft machine
    Is where I find myself again
    Kyrie Eleison
    Down the road that I must travel
    Kyrie Eleison
    Through the darkness of the night
    Kyrie Eleison
    Where I’m going will you follow
    Kyrie Eleison
    On a highway in the light

    When I was young I thought of growing old
    Of what my life would mean to me
    Would I have followed down my chosen road
    Or only wished what I could be

    My friend Duncan Tsai – recently lost his friend and co-worker to a heart-attack.
    She was 27.

  • Rollmodel: Jasyn

    yet another “feature” i want to add to my blogging regime, is to post interviews with people i find inspirational. i’d call them rollmodels :0)

    this is the first installment.
    ___________________

    i met Jasyn online – and after checking out his blog decided that i simply HAD to kick off my Rollmodel feature with him. i am in love with his art – especially his cool icons! he lives in PingTung City – here in Taiwan, but the peace and inspiration i get from our conversations are universal.

    Have you always lived in PingTung?
    Almost, but to live anywhere else that is all the same for me. Because I know who I am, I know my life style.
    What attracted you to creating art?
    Emotions

    I noticed that you have various styles – some of your work being more iconic (Chinese Astrological series) compared to your portrait sketches.
    Which is your favo    rite medium/style to work in?
    Well, I do many styles more than you have seen. Depending when I am interested in something.
    But I would like to say just paper with pencil is my basically favorite thing.

    Do you have a favorite subject matter?
    Anything can touch people’s heart, including myself.

    Has any of your work ever been published/sold?
    I have published a book with a friend, and some illustrations for magazine, book’s cover.
    Also some posters, GPS receiver designs, etc as I work at a small GPS company right now.

    If art is your hobby – what is it you do at your “real” job?
    Design

    How does your job influence your creativity?
    For working at my job I need to keep learning skills to complete and always to refresh my designs.

    That is a plus for my creativity, isn’t it?

    For sure!
    Are you a good cook?
    No, I am not. But cooking isn’t to hard for me. And I like to cook sometimes.
    What is your favorite food?
    Any food my mom cooks for me, cause cannot have them any more, missing that so much.

    Have you ever found your sexual orientation to be an obstacle/inspiration in daily life? And in your art?
    Of course…. But anything all has pros and cons, and in opposing.
    So when you get it. That is not a big issue to yourself.

    Where do you find the time for your art, in between work and other responsibilities? No, I don’t find the time. Time is anywhere anyhow anyspace. Art is same too. Anyone is creating art in their life anytime.

    Finally, do you have any tips, suggestions or advice for people who also want to develop their skills? To be friends with me, haha…

  • 1 000 000 things i'm thankful for

    i was scheduled to do a “10 things”-list and some meme today – but something better, more profound transpired:

    the last two days have been filled with such beauty, fun and laughter. the “graduation camp” with the kids from my buxiban (CRAM School) was an amazing experience! it’s amazing how alive i feel with them. even after having to sit up all night, comforting my one student who couldn’t sleep – i’m filled with an overwhelming sense of peace.

    it is this sense of peace that opened me up to a universe of emotions tonight…

    i popped in on facebook to load photos of the weekend – and browsed some of my friends’ latest albums. unexpectedly, i was hit by a wave of longing. a dear friend posted pics of his brother’s (my best male friend) farewell in Cape Town. him and his fiancée are headed for the UK to hack out a new future for themselves. seeing their beautiful, excited faces made me long to be there, in that moment, with them. i’m happy for them, excited about their future – but also sad. sad to see the final chapter of, what i should now call our “old” lives come to an end – even if it is via facebook.

    it is no secret that i’ve loved him since the day we met – all of 8 years ago.

    i remember it clearly – the moment we met: my new roommate and his friends picked him up at McDonalds, in a tiny, yellow VW CitiGolf. i was sitting relatively comfortably in the back seat – when i looked into the shining doorway of McD’s at an enormous silhouette coming our way. the memory has probably been colored by my mind – but he looked like a warrior emerging from a brilliant light. my first thought was something like: “he’d better never find out i’m gay – he’d beat the living crap out of me!”

    i couldn’t have been further removed from the truth. the man who squeezed in next to me turned out to be the first, real shoulder to help carry my “burden”. and quite possibly, he was the one who finally lifted it from my shoulders and showed me that i’ve been carrying a blessing all those years. what was my burden became a source of magic. and through all the trials and tribulations i faced – he was always there to show me where the anchors were. even at the hight of my alcoholic madness – he brought peace. no wonder i love him.

    no wonder she loves him.

    i’m choked with a heavy sense of loss. this is me being selfish. but i want to own this feeling, these thoughts. i want to learn from them what i should’ve so many times before. i realise that, secretly, i’ve been waiting for him to love me back… romantically. the truth is that he does love me – and has loved me for years – as only true friends can.

    i also know that this love – powerful as it is – is not the love we seek in a life partner. he has found his in a wonderful, talented and all ’round beautiful woman – and i know that i’m overjoyed! what is hurting isn’t letting go of him – its letting go of all the failed “relationships” i’ve been in whilst “waiting” for him. the sense of loss is rooted in my own realization that i’ve let so many opportunities slip by – and that i can’t blame this on alcohol. i chose those doomed relationships exactly because they were doomed. i wanted them to be doomed. i wanted to be rescued.

    and now i am.
    rescued.

    it might not read the same way it feels, but writing this has thrown me around like a rag-doll in a tumble-dryer. and writing that last admission released me into the light.

    he’s done it again!
    oceans apart…

    Dankie TP – dat jy nog altyd, weereens en steeds my baken was, is en sal wees. My hart is vanaand vol dankbaarheid – vir jou en vir Chanel. Mag jul liefde ook ‘n lig vir ander wees – en kom kuier gou.